On the Couch with JJ - Colin Moss Interview

Welcome to my Couch! Ah! So many friends who have reach celebrity status have sat here. And I’m going to give you the privilege of sitting here with me while we found who the Stars really are behind the Flash and Glam! But this isn’t about me that would take too long! This Month we get comfy with “ a hurricane of creative energy” (according to Cosmopolitan), The Star calls him “the most famous face in South Africa.” Actor, presenter, comic, corporate MC, voice artist, script and screen writer, Colin Moss presented Fear Factor, Idols, starred in Isidingo, now he’s the Leading Man in a South African movie And most importantly he was a past pupil of then University of Natal (now UKZN) Lets hear what he had to say…

J.J.

JJ: Have there been any moments on fear factor that have made you think, “I’m so glad I’m not a contestant!” and if so which ones? And what is your fear?

CM: I wasn’t too freaked out about the challenges. In fact, I was keen to try some of them, especially the car ramp, but production wouldn’t allow it. But the stuff they had to eat in some of the challenges really grossed me out. I could not have done that.

What is my fear? Manto becoming President.

JJ: As an Idols presenter, you must be aware of any scandal or moments of hilarity that go on backstage, any anecdotes you can share?

CM: Not really. I am not privy to what goes on behind the scenes in the house. I only see them before the shows when they’re nervous. Oh, Andriette did lose a toenail shortly before last week’s performance and managed not to limp in the show. I don’t know how she did that.

JJ: Do you start to get a “sixth sense” for who has the best chance to win idols, after doing so may episodes?

CM: I do generally have a pretty good idea about who should make it to the top three, but I am still sometimes surprised at the audience votes.

JJ: Your new movie, “Big Fellas”, what is your take on it?

CM: Big Fellas is a controversial and irreverent comedy about BEE and quota systems featuring some of the best comic performers in the country, including Cokey Falkow, Marc Lottering, Louw Venter and Kagiso Lediga. I think that South Africans are going to enjoy it no matter where they stand on the BEE issue.

JJ: With such a varied cast, from comedians to models, there must have been some really interesting moments, on and off set. Which were your favourites?

CM: On set – the scenes that we improvised with Cokey were highlights for me. There are a couple of scenes where there was no script and we were just riffing. They turned out to be some of the best moments in the film.

Off set – Killing time together at 1 am in the hot springs in Warm Waterberg on the R62.

JJ: What was it like working with “Big Fellas” co- star/producer/writer Ross Garland, your old varsity mate, after all these years?

CM: It was great! Ross really understands the business of film in this country. It’s also great that he was so open to the process of being organic – he allowed us as comics to bring a lot to the party.

JJ: As a UN-D old boy, have you gone back to see how its changed? Do you feel any tie or connection to the campus?

CM: Unfortunately I do not get to Durban often, so I have not been back to the campus. But I do have very fond memories of my years at the University of Natal, Durban campus, particularly the drama and music departments. I loved my years at uni.

JJ: Whilst you were still a student there did you think you ever make it to where you are now or did you think you’d always be working at Elizabeth Sneddon theatre?

CM: (Laughs) One thing you need in this industry is faith in yourself. If you haven’t got that right from the beginning, you might as well give up there and then.

Not that I didn’t really enjoy my time at the Elizabeth Sneddon. I learned one of my best lessons there … It was a Shakespeare and I was chatting up a fine young woman backstage and missed my cue. I had to run on to stage in half a costume and I improvised by saying, “excuse my state of undress … I was in the shower” or something to that effect. Prof Scholtz said to me afterwards “everybody in this industry gets just ONE opportunity to screw up…. That was yours!”

I have never forgotten that and I don’t think I’ve screwed up since.

JJ: How important is varsity education to being an actor or presenter?

CM: I don’t think it’s absolutely vital, but it certainly helps. I see a University education to be more about becoming an erudite, educated and well-rounded person. It’s helped me more as a writer than as an actor.

I do think that the drama department could consider more practical things in the syllabus, like some of the film schools, especially on camera acting. The syllabus is entirely theatre based and that’s a pity because on camera acting is very different. Film school graduates have a heads up on that when they start out on a screen career.

JJ: If you had to describe yourself in 5-10 words what would they be?

CM: Loyal, tenacious, ambitious, approachable and hard working.

JJ: To quote Oprah’s timeless question: if you were a tree what type of tree would it be?

CM: That’s a crazy question … I think the interviewer perhaps needs to lay off the boom…

JJ: What is your fondest memory of your time (till the present) on TV/the big screen?

CM: I have loved it all but have very fond memories of my beginning as Stewart Buller in Isidingo and the colleagues I worked with. My highlight so far was attending the premiere of The World Unseen at the Toronto Film Festival in September. Because I’m in the movie, I had full accreditation and it was awesome partying with the international cast and meeting people in the American film industry and New York agents.

JJ: If you had to say that acting/presenting (or life in general) has taught any inspiring lessons, what would they be?

CM: To get over yourself. When you fall, gut up and dust yourself off and get back in the saddle. Don’t take anything the press says about you to heart – good or bad. Oh, and always remember that auditions are just a part of the job. If you don’t get a role, you can’t take it personally – you might be the wrong look, the wrong colour hair … whatever … it’s not personal.

JJ: You’re an Actor (both on Stage and Screen), an Idols Presenter, a comedian, and a Celebrity MC, but what do you do in your free time (if such a thing exists)

CM: I scuba dive and surf. And I have to make time for my girlfriend … but I have taught her how to surf now.

(With a bit of detective work I found that Colin’s Scuba Diving was Advanced Nitrox. He’s also a saxophonist, Fencer, Sky Diver, Sand boarder, does Muaythai and dances Argentina Tango. Wow, what can’t he do?)

If our positions were exchanged, and you’re the varsity student writing an article on the big time TV Presenter, and you had one question to ask, and everything depended on it. What would it be? And what would your answer be?

I would ask, “What’s the most important ingredient in achieving your goals in the industry?” I would answer, “Keep your humility. Know that fame and celebrity status is a temporary and fragile thing. Be approachable, hard working and flexible. Respect everybody you work with and make friends with the crew – they can make or break you. Know that you might be the star, but you are just a cog in the machine that pulls the show together.”

If anyone wants any more info on the Movie “Big Fellas” (also staring Hakeem Kae-Kazeem, Lee-Anne Summers, Carling Erntzen, Cokey Falco, Kagiso Lediga, Marc Lottering, Louw Venter, Minki van der Westhuizen, Gina Athans, Grethe Fox, Lesley Mongezi.) releasing on the 23^rd November at Nu Metro Cinema’s they should go to http://www.bigfellasmovie.com/

A Zodiac that I wrote up...

Aries
This is not your month, avoid ladders, black cats, mirrors and your ex. In fact don’t even leave the house; you can get the lecture notes on the net anyway. On second thoughts don’t count on it!!

Cancer
The stars are not aligned for love in the next week, if you’re with someone drop him/her before he/she drops you. But on the 15th romance will be on the cards for you, your true love will wear red – make the first move!

Libra
Stay away Pisceans this month they’re a bit aggro! Aquarians are your best friends this month- as long as they can copy your notes! Your tea leaves show many hours relaxing on the lawns. Take the hint, you won’t have the opportunity forever!!!

Aquarius
This month you will not experience love, luck or pass marks but its okay, its not as bad as the last few days will be! Don’t worry my stars are worse! They show an angry mob of Aquarians with pitchforks and torches at my door. At least you have something to look forward to!!

Taurus
I don’t like being the prophet of doom so I’ll just say enjoy town to the utmost and do every thing you always wanted to – unmentionable things are planned!!!

Virgo
I see someone tall dark and handsome – no wait – that’s just my reflection in the glass ball. You will travel to the berg – oh sorry again – its not mountains but piles of assignments. Enjoy!!

Scorpio
The person the stars show you with may be seeing someone else – it’s your duty save him/her from a disastrous fate – well maybe not but it’s a good pick up line! Good luck and go get ‘em tiger!!

Capricorn
Your stars show many riches and prosperity. It may not be true but this thought will help you get through work at 3 in the morning – easy on the caffeine!

Gemini
Your star is not representative of twins but mood swings – stay away from Admin on Main Campus – looks CAN kill! If you must, don’t look Medusa in the eye – eternity as stone is as comfortable as a waltz on hot coals!

Leo
Let your inner lion roar! Your luck with the opposite sex has increased greatly this month – seems charity is in fashion! Don’t pass up the opportunity shmuck!

Sagittarius
This is the month to steal cupid’s arrows and use your supreme accuracy, because that special someone is easily tempted this month – it may not seem so but she’s in denial. I love writing my own fortune!!

Pisces
You have every right beat the Liberians like red headed step children! Those lazy swine’s who don’t know what work is! Besides you gotta relieve your stress on someone!! Aries
This is not your month, avoid ladders, black cats, mirrors and your ex. In fact don’t even leave the house; you can get the lecture notes on the net anyway. On second thoughts don’t count on it!!

Who said being an older brother was easy?

I just don't get it...first Im worrying bout my lil' sis and that she may be sending guys the wrong message. I was so worried that she was making them think she was untouchable...
Now she has a boyfriend and all I can think is: who the hell is this little punk with huge bling earings in BOTH ears!!!!!!!!!!

Now don't get me wrong, her boyfriend is a great guy and I have nothing against earings, Its just that he's dating MY sister...can someone explain this paradigm shift to me?

The Sun Sets Up by Jana Spencer

like every day there is the sun
but today it was not there
your pain was felt by my heart
i wanted to sit in a corner and die
just like you did that day
oh please make this pain go away
the sunset is going up and
your soul is cut by your hand
i learned nothing from this
what were you trying to teach me
i can't see your point anymore
just tell me so i can move on!
i thought of you when i grabbed that knife
and i remembered you on that night
i could see your face, hear your voice
i could feel your touch, smell your scent
and I could taste your kiss, the thing I miss
the knife was cold and hard
it took a while to make up my mind
and I took that knife to my grave
I made it my pain, right through my heart
Blood mixed with tears, they tried to save me
But I was long gone, trying to find you
I know now that I was going home
With you is where I belonged
And with you is where I longed to be
always feeling safe in your arms
they are cold now and stiff
and they will never hold me again
i needed to make a choice
i wanted to take that step
my heart was crying and echoed
words of warning, but i was so far in
that i couldn't turn back, not now
not without you beside me
suicide got the best of my mind
and this is as good as it gets
with no place left to go
you were my romeo and
I was your juliet

Me...or is it?

This is supposed to represent those born in Dec therefore its supposed to represent me....

Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends but gets backstabbed alot. Abiding. Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. loves music. pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt

Skills!!!!!!!!!!!

The Essence of Philosophy

I thought I'd add a post as I havent done so in a while, sadly I forgot to give it an essence. therefore according to Rene Descartes and Aristotle a thing withought its essence goes out of existance....


so this post doesn't exist.
Its philosophy, get over it

Bubble bath

He became bedridden
wasn't often he came out of bed
But they had a bubble bath in their minds

He became senile
and saw dancing girls, submarines and peeping toms,
But they had a bublebath in their minds

He lost weight
was a skeleton with old wrinkled hide draped over
But they had a bubble bath in their minds

"Gerty" was his call
every ten minutes "Gerty...Gerttyyy" and she would come
But they had a bubble bath in their minds

Blood bruises all over
Purple stains covering his skin
But they had a bubble bath in their minds

He had a small coma
the first and last of the signs
But they had a bubble bath in their minds

The next she changed his clothes
He smiled and his father had come for him
And she waits to have a Bubble bath with him

Don't Be You - Chris Henderson

Don't be you if reading my poem
Don't see me as writing alone
Feelings cloud a field of view
Sad is great when feeling blue
I wrote emotions and so saw
perfection
But what you see:
mistakes in each section
A month or two later I'll see them too
I'll hate my own writing
for you being true
So please don't be you
when reading a poem
Please don't see poeple as writing
alone
Be there with them
and feel what they view
'Cause even sadness is great when
you're feeling blue.

Untitled-(for obvious reasons)

While I stare into the deep
Blue pools that are your eyes,
You don't notice the look in mine.

While I watch your perfect
Red lips move so gracefully,
You don't hear the truth in my voice.

While you flick your hair in that
Captivating way thats truly you,
I shake my head at the injustice
of you being out of reach.

To Love in Secret

You're so close.
But to me,
You're not close enough.
I cant put my arms around you,
No, you're to far to hold...

I can always turn my feelings off,
when I know I have no chance.
I could sometimes turn my feelings off,
But not with you,
No, not with you...

I hate to lie!
It hurts so much!
But I have to lie,
To keep my pride, my dignity.
But its so hard to love in secret!!!

The Devil Reincarnate

Evil in the purest,
She controls others
with the utmost of ease,
with surprising agility
for someone her size.

She picks her prey,
and stalks him.
She is conniving in the way,
she paints his life around
him with the garish
colours of hell- then decieves
those around him to turn
against him.

But she doesn't know
I can see through her
I know the game she's playing
and I'm changing the rules.
She can and will go back
to the hell she came from.

i thank You God for most this amazing - e.e. cummings

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and love and wings:and the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any-lifted from the no
of all nothing-human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
the eyes of my eyes are opened)

It Just Wont Quit

This Song by Meatloaf, isn't one of his best musically, but the lyrics are something I can empathize with:

And I never really sleep anymore
And I always get those dangerous dreams
And I never get a minute of peace
And I gotta wonder what it means
And I gotta wonder what it means

Maybe it's nothing and I'm under the weather
Maybe it's just one of those bugs going round
Maybe I'm under a spell and it's magic
Maybe there's a witch doctor with an office in town

Is this a blessing? Or is it a curse?
Does it get any better? Can it get any worse?
Will it go on forever? Or is it over tonight?
Does it come with the darkness? Does it bring out the light?
Is it richer than Diamonds?
Or just a little cheaper than spit?
I don't know what it is but it just won't quit
I don't know what it is but it just won't quit
I don't know what it is but it just won't quit
I don't know what it is but it just won't quit

And there used to be such an easy way of living
And there used to be every hope in the world
And I used get everything that I went after
But there never used to be this girl
But there never used to be this girl

Maybe I'm crazy I'm losing my senses
Maybe I'm possessed by a spirit or such
Maybe I'm desperate and I've got no defenses
Can you get me me a prescription for that one perfect touch?

Is this a blessing? Or is it a curse?
Does it get any better? Can it get any worse?
Will it go on forever? Or is it over tonight?
Does it come with the darkness? Does it bring out the light?
It's a stairway to heaven or a subway down to the pits
I don't know what it is but it just won't quit
I don't know what it is but it just won't quit
I don't know what it is but it just won't quit
I don't know what it is but it just won't quit

Is this a blessing? Or is it a curse?
Does it get any better? Can it get any worse?
Will it go on forever? Or is it over tonight?
Does it come with the darkness? Does it bring out the light?
Is it richer than Diamonds?
Or just a little cheaper than spit?

I don't know what it is but it just won't quit
I don't know what it is but it just won't quit
I don't know what it is but it just won't quit
I don't know what it is but it just won't quit. . . . . .

There was a time when nothing really mattered
There was a time when there was nothing I didn't know
There was a time when I knew just what I was living for
There was a time and the time was so long ago
There was a time and the time was so long ago
And I never really sleep anymore. . . . . . . .

3's tag

Three things that scare me:
1. heights
2. eternal damnation
3. lonelyness
Three people who make me laugh:
1. drunk fools (unless they picking a fight, then I'm gone)
2. life
3. Q
Three Things I love:
1. socialising
2. my friends
3. cheese
Three Things I hate:
1. technology
2. people calling my birth parents REAL parents. THINK IT THROUGH, SHMENDRIK!!(Im adopted if u dont no)
3. physics/stats
Three Things I don't understand:
1. computers(they'r out to get me I swear)
2. women (hey I'm trying but it maybe a lost cause)
3. life
Three things on my desk:
1. bloody heads
2. a few toes
3. a necklace made from teeth
Three things I’m doing right now:
1. breathing
2. trying not to fall asleep-crowded was great last night
3. planning to break into the varsity clock tower
Three things I want to do before I die:
1. experiencing the ultimate love
2. visit all the major clocks in the world
3. learn to dance (latin, ballroom etc)
Three things I can do:
1. touch my nose with my tongue
2. drive (theoretically heh heh)
3. cook
Three things you should listen to:
1. my blog
2. the radio
3. your lecturers-thats y u are @ the lecture- duh
Three things you should never listen to:
1. advice from fortune tellers- if it worked they'd win the lottery and retire instead of telling everyone they'll meat someone tall dark & goodlooking
2. advice on love-if it was worthy advice theyd b out there using it instead of giving it
3. The little voices in my head-pipe down u...and u too
Three things I’d like to learn:
1. Play the violen/guitar
2. Learn Greek/afrikaans
3. Y do I exist
Three favourite foods:
1. global wrap
2. jewel of india
3. mcdonalds
Three beverages I drink regularly:
1. coffee
2. beroca
3. carbonated water
Three TV shows/Books I watched/read as a kid:
1. Tom and Jerry
2. the famous five
3. Looney tunes
Three people I'm tagging (that's if you've not already done this)
1. polkadotdj.com

Escape (Pina Coladas)

this is an awesome song, one of my favs, the music is gr8 but the lyrics show how even when you think the flame is gone, it can still be rekindled - just keep the bitter smoke out of your eyes...

The Real Me

The real me is a Joker in a poker game, constantly something else, never just a joker. With some friends I am one person, with others I'm someone else. I'm not the same person with my mom that I am with my dad. Every person makes me someone new.

I have 20 000 masks and choosing the right one is 2nd nature. I even have a mask for when I'm on my own, the mask of a philosopher, working out the meaning of life (not quite 42). with out my masks I am no-one; they are like a diamond, each mask representing different facets of my personality. You cant take facets away from a diamond, cut one off and you leave another.

My masks and I are inseparable, I am my masks and some of them I'd never masquerade in front of my friends or others. Billy Joel's "The Stranger" explains it perfectly: "Well, we all a face, that we hide away forever and we take them out and show ourselves when everyone has gone. Some are satin, some are steel, some are silk and some are leather. They're the faces of a stranger but we love to try them on... though we share so many secrets there are some we never tell...why were you so surprised that you never saw stranger? Did you ever let your lover see the stranger in yourself?"

Some masks will never be seen, even by me, as the right occasion will probably never present itself. Some masks are grotesque and deformed and others are creative and seamless. the latter are ones I'd prefer to have been seen the most by the time I meet my maker.

I don't believe I am the only con-artist, but that we all are deceiving everyone we know, hiding, changing. None of us ever really knows everything about anyone, even ourselves!

Yet we don't accept masks that others show us by mistake, we scorn them without thinking about the fact it is actually a privellage to have seen and learn't something new about someone. We could easily have worse masks, that we are too afraid to show for fear we may be scorned as we scorn.

Maybe we should all show some of our masks in the spirit of acceptance. Maybe then the world will be a beter place to live in. But alas we can't; there are always some who won't come to the party, afraid that their skeleton's are to decayed to show and don't realise we're all the same and just wont acceptance.

Although some can and do show their skeletons to others of like mind, and they are met with sympathy, if not empathy, instead of scorn. They are far happier than the poor souls who keep themselves to themselves and must trudge through through life with heavy burdens untill they die and Jesus releases them of their burdens.

Venus

Venus, what the hell?
Venus, your a bitch!
your skirt you hitch,
you reveal what I'm missing
and start with light kissing.
You whet my appetite with your smooth curves
and promise me all sorts of lurves.
You tease and flirt,
but your plan was to hurt.
Venus you make me wan to scream and yell.

Venus, go to hell!
Venus your a cow!
Before its made, you break the vow.
You should be shot,
as you flee in the sunset on your yacht.
You lurk just out of reach,
I'm drowning yet you won't step of the beach.
You lovingly plant the seed,
then rip out the Rose like a weed.
Venus, it hurts, can't you tell?